Jesus Loves You, but...
My manager has said I need something to attract people to my product table. Something very cheap that I could feasibly give away to anyone who visits my product table at all. Something akin to a small round sticker with something funny on it.
Here is what I have come up with. I call them my "Jesus Loves You, but…" business cards.
The premise would be developed as a bit on stage and go something like this.
"Don't you hate when you're on a plane and there is always that one guy who talks very loudly for the entire duration of the trip? Don't you feel powerless against him? Well not anymore. I've created small message cards the size of a regular business card that you can hand this person on your way off the plane. On one side it says, 'Jesus Loves You' and on the other side it says, 'But everyone sitting near you is too polite to tell you that you're obnoxiously loud.' And then it lists two passages from the Bible under it.
The first is Proverbs 10:8 (ESV) which states,
The wise of heart will receive commandments,
but a babbling fool will come to ruin.
And the second is Provers 17:28 (ESV) which says,
Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise;
when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.
On stage I would then probably share the famous quote sometimes attributed to Mark Twain or Abraham LIncoln, "Better to Remain Silent and Be Thought a Fool than to Speak and Remove All Doubt."
When I shared this idea with my daughter she said I needed cards which address bad breath as well.
They state, "Jesus Loves You" on the front, and on the back say, "But that's because HE hasn't smelled your breath."
This card also lists two Bible verse references. Job 19:17 (NIV) which states,
"My breath is offensive to my wife;
I am loathsome to my own family."
And Proverbs 13:5 (NIV) which says,
"The righteous hate what is false,
but the wicked make themselves a stench
and bring shame on themselves."
I am excited about these ideas as bits, and I am also excited that business cards are dirt cheap to produce. I would be looking at around $.02 (2 cents) per card. So from that stand point it's a huge home run.
Now I just need to finalize the wording of the actual jokes and cards and I have gone back and forth.
That's where you all come in.
Each card option is listed below with the front first then the back after it. They are all similar but subtly different. If I am going to print these I wanted to print the funniest versions I could think of. So if you think of something completely different that you feel is funny please share it with me. Otherwise, I would appreciate any and all feedback.
Click on (or hover over) the pictures to see the navigation buttons. Click next to see the back of the card.
Here is what I have come up with. I call them my "Jesus Loves You, but…" business cards.
The premise would be developed as a bit on stage and go something like this.
"Don't you hate when you're on a plane and there is always that one guy who talks very loudly for the entire duration of the trip? Don't you feel powerless against him? Well not anymore. I've created small message cards the size of a regular business card that you can hand this person on your way off the plane. On one side it says, 'Jesus Loves You' and on the other side it says, 'But everyone sitting near you is too polite to tell you that you're obnoxiously loud.' And then it lists two passages from the Bible under it.
The first is Proverbs 10:8 (ESV) which states,
The wise of heart will receive commandments,
but a babbling fool will come to ruin.
And the second is Provers 17:28 (ESV) which says,
Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise;
when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.
On stage I would then probably share the famous quote sometimes attributed to Mark Twain or Abraham LIncoln, "Better to Remain Silent and Be Thought a Fool than to Speak and Remove All Doubt."
When I shared this idea with my daughter she said I needed cards which address bad breath as well.
They state, "Jesus Loves You" on the front, and on the back say, "But that's because HE hasn't smelled your breath."
This card also lists two Bible verse references. Job 19:17 (NIV) which states,
"My breath is offensive to my wife;
I am loathsome to my own family."
And Proverbs 13:5 (NIV) which says,
"The righteous hate what is false,
but the wicked make themselves a stench
and bring shame on themselves."
I am excited about these ideas as bits, and I am also excited that business cards are dirt cheap to produce. I would be looking at around $.02 (2 cents) per card. So from that stand point it's a huge home run.
Now I just need to finalize the wording of the actual jokes and cards and I have gone back and forth.
That's where you all come in.
Each card option is listed below with the front first then the back after it. They are all similar but subtly different. If I am going to print these I wanted to print the funniest versions I could think of. So if you think of something completely different that you feel is funny please share it with me. Otherwise, I would appreciate any and all feedback.
Click on (or hover over) the pictures to see the navigation buttons. Click next to see the back of the card.