• ABOUT
  • SPEAKER
  • COMEDIAN
  • VIDEOS
  • PROMO
  • Booking Request
  • Contact
  • Savannah's Wedding
  • ABOUT
  • SPEAKER
  • COMEDIAN
  • VIDEOS
  • PROMO
  • Booking Request
  • Contact
  • Savannah's Wedding
MARTY SIMPSON
PROMO
  • ABOUT
  • SPEAKER
  • COMEDIAN
  • VIDEOS
  • PROMO
  • Booking Request
  • Contact
  • Savannah's Wedding
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The Parking Cards

This is a pack of 25 of Marty's Parking Cards from his show. Use these to help encourage those less talented drivers out there. These are the same size as traditional business cards and come in a pack of 25.
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DVDs, HD-Video Downloads, & Audio Downloads


Actual DVD

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DVD: Clean If It Kills Me
(Hard copy of DVD mailed to you.)

In addition to the one-hour comedy special, the actual DVD (versus the download only versions) includes over 30 minutes of bonus footage including an award-winning original short film and memorable moments from Simpson’s years as an All-American football standout, as well as actual footage of Marty coaching and teaching (which helped inspire some of the comedy material!)

The DVD Menu System also includes some bonus "Easter Eggs" for the "geekier" viewers!

If you have any problems making the digital downloads work, you can go directly to Marty's online store by clicking here and make your purchase there. 

Digital Downloads

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HD - Highest Quality
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HD - High Quality
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Standard-Definition
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Download: Clean If It Kills Me
The download only versions do not contain the "bonus footage" featured on the DVD but they come in eye-popping 1080p HD video. Read below for information about the different versions.

HD - Highest Quality

You get the full show in glorious HD and who doesn't want to see Marty's bald head in HD across their 60-inch plasma?

HD - High Quality
Still a 1920x1080 HD version but encoded at a slightly lower quality than the highest in order to save you time on your download! It's barely any different, but you quality freaks out there may notice a tiny difference.


Standard Definition
This is a 720x480 version. The quality is very high, but the resolution is formatted for standard definition televisions or computer screens. If you are watching on a smart phone this is a perfect version for you.

Audio Only

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CD: Clean If It Kills Me
(Audio Only Download)

We realize the headline here says "CD" but let's get real, the first thing you'll do with a CD is rip it to your iPod or computer, so we've saved you the trouble!

This version contains the entire comedy special (audio-only) and is broken up into tracks and ready for your itunes playlist!

The audio download includes one bonus track. It's Marty's famous "Egging Story." This track was not included on his DVD. It should appear on his next video release, but in the  mean time this is the only place you can get it!

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Original T-Shirts (Adult Sizes)



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My Love Language is Sarcasm T-Shirt
(Cardinal)
This T-Shirt is a name brand "Next Level" shirt. It is akin to the American Apparel "fashion tee" which are popular now-a-days. This will quickly become your favorite shirt!


Click the "Buy it Now" blue button under the shirt to be able to choose your size.



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My Love Language is Sarcasm T-Shirt
(BLACK)

This T-Shirt is a name brand "Next Level" shirt. It is akin to the American Apparel "fashion tee" which are popular now-a-days. This will quickly become your favorite shirt!

Click the "Buy it Now" blue button under the shirt to be able to choose your size.


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2023
www.MartySimpson.com